life feels increasingly temporary
i’m moving through space
waiting to decay or something
contemplating syntax
and impossibly large celestial movements
i’m waiting to meet the person who will ruin my current relationship
i’m waiting for emails to arrive, refreshing gmail
i’m waiting for an onset of hunger and then the inevitable meal
i’m in a book store consciously refusing to read books
looking for books about nicaragua with the sole intention of not reading them
not finding them anyway
i’m surrounded by people using bluetooth technology inappropriately; anti-socially
planning to apply for a job, then look into space thinking ‘what’ repeatedly
i have some intention of doing this
i am looking at your reflection and you avert your eyes
you don’t want to look at me, my imperfections
my destructive handwriting
when contemplating cute animals my mind swims a little
from a lake into a river composed of serotonin
and dopamine-infused pebble formations
this is normal this is okay
INSANE [CAREER-MARRING] DRUNK POST
I GET IT
I AM POST-BLACK
PEOPLE CAN'T GRASP THIS CONCEPT
I'M LIKE A MISSING LINK OR SOMETHING
I'M SOMETHING THAT WILL BE POPULAR IN 20~80 YEARS
I'M TOO EARLY
WHAT AM I DOING HERE
JUST THOUGHT 'GOING TO DIE IN TEN SECONDS'
I AM BLOGGING LIKE KANYE WEST
SEEMS DAMNING
SEEMS LIKE A BAD CAREER CHOICE
THOUGHT 'PEOPLE WHO BECOME FAMOUS FOR BLOGGING/CREATING "ART" DON'T EXPOSE THEIR AUDIENCE TO THIS LEVEL OF INSECURITY RE THEIR FEELINGS OF "LACK OF DEPTH" OR INADEQUACY'
[LINK 1]
JUST THOUGHT 'VICTORIA TROTT' IN A [SEEMINGLY] ENDEARING TONE
READ 'NICARAGUA' BY CLANCY MARTIN AND DEB OLIN UNFERTH AND FELT 'JOVIAL'
TREATING THIS LIKE A 'PRANK'
HONESTLY FEELS LIKE 'A PRANK' DESPITE NOT FITTING THE APPLE DICTIONARY WIDGET DEFINITION
LISTENING TO BASEMENT JAXX VS. LIGHTSPEED CHAMPION AND FEELING 'EVEN MORE' 'FUCKING' POST-BLACK
INCREASED LEVELS OF CAFFEINE AND ALCOHOL HAVE FUELED THIS
I FEEL LIKE LIL WAYNE
I FEEL LIKE SUGE NIGHT
NOT REALLY
[LINK NUMBER 2]
STILL SEEMS LIKE A PRANK
LOL, 'I GET IT'
THINKING REALLY SARCASTICALLY ABOUT THIS POST NOW
DEFINITELY A PRANK
OMG, THIS POST IS ABOUT TO GET REALLY LONG
if there were some level of destructive instinct in the genetic infrastructure behind blue whales or whale sharks the undersea ecosphere would be totally fucked
seems very important to avoid all impulses to refer to pop culture/indie culture/nihilism, though strong urges to write an extended dissertation re these concepts/themes seems [paradoxically] ‘imperative’
[LINK 3]
I WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING THAT SEEMS CONCRETE/ACADEMIC BUT FEEL INCAPABLE OF DOING THIS
SEEMS THAT THIS WHOLE BLOG POST IS STEMMING FROM THAT DESIRE
‘OH MY GOD’, WHAT IF I JUST DID THAT
JUST WROTE SOMETHING CONCRETE AND ANALYTICAL
REVISITED MY COLLEGIATE WRITING TACTICS AND ‘JUST DID IT’
SEEMS TIRING TO TRY TO DECIDE ON A THEME/TOPIC RE ‘SOMETHING CONCRETE AND ANALYTICAL’
SO BORED OF THIS BLOG POST NOW
GODDAMNIT
I AM POST-BLACK
PEOPLE CAN'T GRASP THIS CONCEPT
I'M LIKE A MISSING LINK OR SOMETHING
I'M SOMETHING THAT WILL BE POPULAR IN 20~80 YEARS
I'M TOO EARLY
WHAT AM I DOING HERE
JUST THOUGHT 'GOING TO DIE IN TEN SECONDS'
I AM BLOGGING LIKE KANYE WEST
SEEMS DAMNING
SEEMS LIKE A BAD CAREER CHOICE
THOUGHT 'PEOPLE WHO BECOME FAMOUS FOR BLOGGING/CREATING "ART" DON'T EXPOSE THEIR AUDIENCE TO THIS LEVEL OF INSECURITY RE THEIR FEELINGS OF "LACK OF DEPTH" OR INADEQUACY'
[LINK 1]
JUST THOUGHT 'VICTORIA TROTT' IN A [SEEMINGLY] ENDEARING TONE
READ 'NICARAGUA' BY CLANCY MARTIN AND DEB OLIN UNFERTH AND FELT 'JOVIAL'
TREATING THIS LIKE A 'PRANK'
HONESTLY FEELS LIKE 'A PRANK' DESPITE NOT FITTING THE APPLE DICTIONARY WIDGET DEFINITION
LISTENING TO BASEMENT JAXX VS. LIGHTSPEED CHAMPION AND FEELING 'EVEN MORE' 'FUCKING' POST-BLACK
INCREASED LEVELS OF CAFFEINE AND ALCOHOL HAVE FUELED THIS
I FEEL LIKE LIL WAYNE
I FEEL LIKE SUGE NIGHT
NOT REALLY
[LINK NUMBER 2]
STILL SEEMS LIKE A PRANK
LOL, 'I GET IT'
THINKING REALLY SARCASTICALLY ABOUT THIS POST NOW
DEFINITELY A PRANK
OMG, THIS POST IS ABOUT TO GET REALLY LONG
if there were some level of destructive instinct in the genetic infrastructure behind blue whales or whale sharks the undersea ecosphere would be totally fucked
seems very important to avoid all impulses to refer to pop culture/indie culture/nihilism, though strong urges to write an extended dissertation re these concepts/themes seems [paradoxically] ‘imperative’
[LINK 3]
I WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING THAT SEEMS CONCRETE/ACADEMIC BUT FEEL INCAPABLE OF DOING THIS
SEEMS THAT THIS WHOLE BLOG POST IS STEMMING FROM THAT DESIRE
‘OH MY GOD’, WHAT IF I JUST DID THAT
JUST WROTE SOMETHING CONCRETE AND ANALYTICAL
REVISITED MY COLLEGIATE WRITING TACTICS AND ‘JUST DID IT’
SEEMS TIRING TO TRY TO DECIDE ON A THEME/TOPIC RE ‘SOMETHING CONCRETE AND ANALYTICAL’
SO BORED OF THIS BLOG POST NOW
GODDAMNIT
feeling really melodramatic
have been sitting in a loft in baltimore for what feels like forever
thinking critically about 'rebranding'
looked at all my websites and they all seem stylistically sound
confused why no one reads my shit
no one watches my films
i am too poor to do physical endorsement/travel and 'expand my influence'
and feel 'repressed' and at the same time 'limitless' re ability to 'turn a product'
where have i failed, brand-establishment wise?
do i need to make things 'more consumable'?
what the fuck is going on
thinking critically about 'rebranding'
looked at all my websites and they all seem stylistically sound
confused why no one reads my shit
no one watches my films
i am too poor to do physical endorsement/travel and 'expand my influence'
and feel 'repressed' and at the same time 'limitless' re ability to 'turn a product'
where have i failed, brand-establishment wise?
do i need to make things 'more consumable'?
what the fuck is going on
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