poetry collection, compiled for a reading

welcome to [something]; fuck
seems like there is something inside of me

an emotion or something solid

causing a natural convergence of standards and principles

specific levels of enjoyment are retained, and crushed

like cars in a compactor

or like muffin batter in what you put muffin batter into,

inside of a convection oven

that’s been preheated to three-hundred fifty degrees

we are negotiable as human beings

a finite debate on what must be done

and opposing actions that are taken

and i am a 747 airplane filled with desperate people

who have anxiety about how they are perceived by a cruise ship filled with apathetic people

52,000 feet beneath them

‘are we a force, an object or just invisible?’ they ask; wantonly

‘are we making sounds? do they enjoy these sounds?’

they lust for positive reviews upon their descent

and as they think these things we think to ourselves that we can kill each other

and that it will be okay

it will be fine after we are dead, and nothing will go wrong

it will be fine

it will be fine

it will be different, but it will also be okay

kneeling limp with my hands placed in a way that i would have to look down to spatially relate to anything

i look up at the sky at nothing

feeling 'welcomeness' towards death

and to the extreme enjoyment of viewing and discerning between objects

a light varnish on my perception;

and a swelling, somewhere non-sexual

i am an enormous crystal

and my cleavage, and shimmer are ideal for cutting,

and setting in something feminine

but i am just too huge

to my right, there is a walnut, and i think, ‘brains’

and i question this relationship

and feel longing for some type of understanding,

then dismiss it, gently

'i will conquer all facets of myself,' i think

then crinkle a bit as gravity acts on various objects

and small things slowly become large things

i ejaculate onto my mattress and stare at it

and immediately want to cum again

you look at me, knowingly and i become a ruby, looking softly back at you

and we all become rubies and tsunamis and answer questions

of what is this and what is that

and then the universe resets a little

and it feels strange

there are three-hundred million people in this country and i don’t even think anyone really understands the concept of three-hundred million people or what a country is in a way that could be posed to me with any sort of definite clarity due, almost solely, to the abstract concept of ‘vastness’
i have no idea how my siblings will die

but i know that they will

and i’ve seen some death

i really attempted to contemplated it

i drank some cola while doing it

i’m not partial to ice in my cola

and i prefer pepsi to coke

and everyone i have met,

with the exception of my grandfather likes pizza

which, like most junk food, goes well with cola

but both, when over-consumed

can and will cause heart failure, diabetes, among other conditions

this doesn’t feel contemplative anymore

this isn’t going anywhere


ideas of exclusivity and world take-over in a monogamous vacuum
i want to start a secret society for the two of us

i want to explain, in depth, purpose, method, goals

to usurp all governments, with you

complete domination seems ideal and impossible

ideas of dominance destroy feelings of the affirmation of life

the acts of cleaning, building, eating; processes

let's move, swiftly, past our close group of friends

overtake them on their career paths

take success by the earlobes and drag it

holding hands, squeezing our ideas together

this is life; this is horrible; there is some vast glory here

something untapped