supporting my body on one foot all of the time has made my left knee kind of weaker than my right knee.

i want to masturbate

and make loud, obscene noises while i do this

i want to stare at my fish tank until january

and watch the little fish explode

bubbles everywhere, fish guts, 'damn'

the palm of my hand keeps touching my forehead

and my fingers keep pushing my hair back

out of my eyes

i want to look at you and tell you i'm sorry

no i don't

i am unsure whether i want to do this or not do this

i think that 38% percent of me wants to do this

15% of me does not want to do this, and

47% feels unsure whether i want to do this or not do this

my penis feels really sensitive

and it's making me uncomfortable

i saw myself climbing a cliff

that was the same color as what was behind me

black

and bubbles, fragile like soap bubbles

but multicolored, opaque and lit by an unknown source

were floating up beside me as i climbed

eventually i reached the top

and looked out over the landscape

black

and smiled and said 'i made it'