they were both wearing pink and disappointing me without knowing it.

my brother went away to a christian music retreat this morning. yesterday was his 'going away party'. i don't like my brother very much. he judges people for what kind of outlook they have on life rather than if he can have a good time just sitting next to them. that makes me not want to sit next to him or even talk to him about things that aren't basically very sarcastic. i was going in and out of sleep while he was walking out of the door and i happened to doze off right when he was leaving and didn't say goodbye.

my brother's 'going away party' yesterday was in the back yard of the house my parents bought when he was six days old. it has a concrete patio surrounded by a sloped lawn. my brother set up some instruments and chairs and tables and food and a bunch of people came over and talked about things and kind of swayed to the music and clapped their hands. i wasn't there. i rode my bike to college park about an half-an-hour before the party 'started' because i felt that i should get inebriated before interacting with large numbers of christians or black people.

when i got to college park i received a text message from a girl saying that she would be visiting for the day, so i got very excited because i have something like a crush on her. i got very excited and then realized that i had nothing to do for the three hours before she would get there, so i went to my friend with an awesome moustache's house. he wasn't home. then i called the dj that lives across the street from my friend with an awesome moustache. he told me to come over. he and his girlfriend were outside smoking cigarettes and waiting for her friend from baltimore to come visit. when i was kind of far away the dj's girlfrend yelled 'buttercup!' and i yelled her name and she laughed very loud and i felt content with my entire life at that moment.

her friend took a wrong exit on 450 and accidentally went into virginia, but she got there about a half-an-hour after i got there and we started smoking marijuana and talking about 'collective consciousness' and how there is going to be a revolution very soon. then we started drawing. i haven't drawn for a long time, but enjoyed drawing with them. here is a picture of what i drew.

i tried to upload a picture of what i drew, but apparently it's too large. maybe i'll try again later or something.

we went to 'hard times cafe' to get food. i didn't have any money, so i just ate the soup crackers, but without the soup, and ordered some water. then we went to the club where the dj's buddy who is also a dj and whose djing equipment they share, played a show the night before, to pick up the djing equipment that he left at the club. i helped my friend put the turn tables in his girlfriend's friend from baltimore's truck and told him i was going to go see the girl who text messaged me when i first got to college park. i said goodbye to everyone and then my ex-girlfriend walked out of 7-11 with her new boyfriend and i walked away very quickly and couldn't stop looking back over and over. she was wearing a pink shirt.

i went to south campus and met with the girl who had text messaged me earlier and she was sitting with three other gypsies. one of them likes to take his shirt off frequently, another likes to play hacky sack, and the other seems like one of the most intellectual people i have or will ever meet, but seems to be severely depressed for some reason and so he doesn't talk much. i gave the girl who had text messaged me earlier a hug over a banister 'for the novelty of it' and smiled and stood back and cried a little because she was wearing pink just like my ex-girlfriend was. she looked better in pink than my ex-girlfriend did though, and this was somewhat comforting.

we left the three gypsies and started walking and talking. we walked across campus and talked about very sarcastic things. i asked her if she wanted to make out, or i said 'let's make out' or something. she smiled and a very sweet, vacant expression crossed her face. i really thought about kissing her very hard and not stopping until the sun was all the way gone, but instead i said 'just kidding' and we kept walking. she told me a lot of secret things while we walked and i felt like i was being tickled from the inside of my stomach until i gave her a hug and she got on the bus. at some point i got extremely, irrationally angry because i wished that she made me kiss her after she realized that i wanted to, but then i felt stupid and started just focusing on not telling the girl i called earlier that she and my ex-girlfriend were both wearing pink today because i did not want her to feel 'bad' about it, since it was a coincidence and everything.