i feel seperate from everything.

i feel like my consciousness is the product of a nearly infinite number of previous instances
converging and imploding into the single, infinitely complex instance of me writing this

i feel like your consciousness is the product of a nearly infinite number of previous instances
converging and imploding into the single, infinitely complex instance of you reading this

everything that i think, no matter how abstract it is, is just the result of everything happening everywhere, but in sequence

i can't think anything that i haven't drawn as a conclusion
and whenever i do think something 'original', it is definitely always the 'result' of something i have no control over making my brain think something, which feels depressing

i feel like everything that is happening is 'new'
but also like it is all 'part of a big new infinity of stupid' because i only value very little parts of it
i just realized these 'very little parts' are also infinitely complex stupid convergences of everything
i feel empowered by realizing this
because my parents think that everything was created by a guy they 'met' after reading about him in a book
which is maybe worse than 'stupid;, in my 'stupid' 'opinion'
because it is 'stupid' for a person to think that a person made everything

i am not a 'person'
because i am happening now and 'persons' happened before
so i am a cyborg
i am a beautiful cyborg with love in its heart
that's stupid