and all of these goddamned things.

some people have belly button fetishes
i once knew a guy who ate at pink's hot dog stand every day for a month
you can chill white wine, but red wine should stay at room temperature
having sex while making soup only seems like a good idea
there is a transvestite standing on my lawn
there is a fashionable lesbian hitting on me at an indian barista's birthday party
why do these things happen to me? why not bill clinton? or carl rove?
my brother is allergic to latex. hehe
i want to die before i am fifty. please, god, kill me before then
chewing on resin leaves a very golden taste in one's mouth
let's NOT
don't hurt me mr. postman. treat me right mr. postman
arizona seems to have a lot of attractive white women for a desert with lots of native americans in it
i want pancakes. i might throw up my dinner to make room for pancakes