three little kittens on three 'important' laps.

once their was a panda bear
with an eating disorder
it thought that bamboo was way too fattening
so it just ate beans
and cried to itself
because it wanted bamboo really bad
but thought it was too fattening
a pterodactyl with a person on its back flew into the ying chun forest where the panda bear lived one day
and landed on a bamboo stalk
and it leaned and leaned and leaned
until the pterodactyl was right by the ground
and the person on its back saw the panda bear there
eating beans
and since this happened 11,000 years in the future
and humanity revived the panda population
and 98.8673% of the population knew the panda's dietary habits
because of socialist teaching methods
even though this person on this pterodactyl was an aborigine
he knew that pandas eat bamboo
so using his inter-species translation device he asked the panda
'why you eat beans panda? you go fart fart. bad idea. this grass thing good food for you'
and the panda said, still crying passionately
that bamboo was too fattening
so the aborigine got off his pterodactyl friend's back, catapulting it all the way to the yellow river
and he ripped off a branch from the bamboo stalk
and chomped on it and said 'what the fuck you talk about? this damn good, panda. no fat at all. you too thin anyway. need to indulge in some frivolities some times.'
then the aborigine immediately gained 30lbs and had conjunctive heart failure
then the panda met a girl panda by doing a skinny panda dance, which she thought was adorable, and they sired three tabbies through in-vitro fertilization
all three of which became pets of great world leaders
and went down in pop culture history
the end