i am an entrepreneur.

i started my own doughnut stacking and selling company. we produce both the donuts and manufacture the cone-shaped stacking poles that the doughnuts go onto. the stacking poles are made out of paper and soak up about 15% of the grease on the inside ring of the doughnuts. i got the idea for the company when i was eating a doughnut and drinking orange juice and noticed that it would in no way be more convenient if the doughnut came wrapped around the cup, but that some direct variation on that idea might be 'innovative'. i was not trying to reinvent the wheel. i just wanted to cause a minor shift in the way people think about eating doughnuts. for the time being people can only buy doughnuts one-by-one in a bag or in half-dozens or in dozens, but only in these boxes that are just vaguely manageable. the icings and flavors get all mixed up when you drive more than 20mph in any direction on your way to the event requiring your donuts, especially around sharp corners, which office buildings and suburbs have, and you are more likely to drive faster than 20mph in an area that you are familiar with. that is why the majority of life-threatening car accidents happen in or near residential communities. worst of all, your fingernails get all sugary because you accidentally touch every adjacent doughnut when you pick up yours. this could possibly add to your doughnut-eating experience, if you are subconsciously envious of other people's doughnut selections. but it is much more considerate if you would not steal icing from your friends doughnuts. so i started my own doughnut stacking and selling company. our profit margins are pretty high because it doesn't cost much money to run a doughnut company, and it costs even less to run a paper-rolling company. So we just add about 5¢ to each order, per doughnut, and no one complains. They see it as a luxury, the poles, but really we aren't paying for boxes, which cost more than they are worth because a percentage of the money we pay the box manufacturers goes back to the engineer who patented the shape of the box so that it folds easily. I would say that after three months this seems like a worthwhile business venture. we already have eight regular customers whose faces i remember and who always order the same thing. one of them always asks for jelly-filled, which is a joke, because we don't sell jelly-filled doughnuts. he thinks that i think that he is funnier than i actually think that he is. i am extremely frightened that krispy kreme will steal our idea and because they are already so ubiquitous, their lawyers will find a way to infringe on our pole-stacking patent without having to pay us any royalties. if this happens in the next two-to-five years i am afraid that our potential clientele will be much lower and i will not be able to start my daughter's trust fund, and she will subsequently not be able to go to yale, which is her mother's alma mater. i didn't finish college, but i started this business and am doing my best to provide for my family while still being creative and interesting by piggyback on the american public's addiction to deep-fried things and dough and sugar. sometimes when i am sitting in my office in the back of my company at night i imagine becoming a reef diver and looking at beautiful fish all of the time and not having to imagine things like this, then i imagine getting an erection in my scuba gear and ripping it and ejaculating into the water like a fish and my wife is a mermaid and she just happens to swim by and is impregnated, and since mermaids have a much longer gestation period than humans, two and a half years later my daughter is born and everything sucks.