~50 directors, 50 films, 50 descriptive sentences: unsure why i did this/why i am posting this/if this is at all factually accurate.

adam humphreys
franz otto ultimate high-baller
doc about a prolific/mythical canadian tree planter [the johnny appleseed of conifers]

andy warhol
chelsea girls
women living in the chelsea hotel in the ‘60s

ang lee
hulk
eric bana almost breaks jennifer connelly in half with his penis

cameron crowe
almost famous
autobiographical/kinda dumb, about ‘rock and roll’

christopher nolan
inception
'juno' meets '500 days of summer' meets 'basketball diaries' meets lysergic acid

danny boyle
trainspotting
highly fashionable scottish, book-based movie about people living in a moral vacuum with access to a lot of heroin

danny perez
oddsac
puking after swallowing fifteen psilocybin-infused paintballs

david lynch
mulholland drive
naomi watts ‘goes crazy’ [~5 times]

francis ford coppola
tetro
vincent gallo plays francis ford coppola

francois truffaut
400 blows
10/10 pedorasts’ favorite movie

frederico fellini
nights of cabiria
fellini casts his wife as an ugly prostitute that probably no one would want to sleep with if she were really a prostitute

gaspar noe
irreversible
‘memento’ but pretty/unbearably graphic/not nihilistic

george lucas
american graffiti
everything good about star wars without being as boring/cheesy as star wars

gus van sant
elephant
aesthetically pleasing retelling of columbine with social-critique/pederast undertones

harmony korine
gummo
breast cancer awareness PSA

hayao miyazaki
naussica of the valley of the wind
accurately post-post-apocalyptic

james cameron
avatar
pretty bad, like, wasn't good

jean-luc godard
a woman is a woman
anna karina’s yellow teeth/hairy armpits

joe swanberg
hannah takes the stairs
slutty girl fucks multiple unattractive guys; feels bad afterward

joel/ethan coen
miller’s crossing
world full of bad-asses

jj abrams
star trek
the fluid nature of the universe explored sarcastically/in a pop-culture context

jon favreau
jumanji ii: zathura
what the fuck/wtf/whaddafuk

jonathan demme
rachel getting married
anne hathaway as sociopath; pretty sweet

jordan castro/mallory whitten
richard yates
romantic comedy

julie taymor
the tempest
shakespeare in love meets LOTR

kacper jarecki
eeee eee eeeee: the movie
exactly what it sounds like

kanye west
runaway
needed a black person on this list

lana/andy wachowski
speed racer
‘the quintessential post-modern film’

larry clark
kids
HIV+

lena dunham
tiny furniture
pimple-core movie about post-graduate stress disorder

lucile hadzihalilovic
innocence
lil girls just being lil girls trapped in a boarding school cut off from the rest of the world

mel brooks
the producers
funny/musical/pro-nazi

michael bay
transformers
hate this movie; can’t stop watching this movie if playing

noah baumbach
greenberg
same chick from hannah takes the stairs fucks ben stiller; feels bad about it after

paul thomas anderson
there will be blood
memeable

peter jackson
king kong
naomi watts ‘goes crazy’ [~3 times]

quentin tarantino
death proof
girl power

robert rodriguez
spy kids
su evas su pleh namdam a si poolf

robert zemeckis
contact
written by carl sagan; so good

roman coppola
CQ
seems like my life

ron howard
apollo 13
based on a true story about people in space

sam mendes
jarhead
never going to enlist in the military; ever; ever

sofia coppola
marie antoinette
extravagant in the 'right places'

spike jonze
where the wild things are
did with muppets successfully what jim henson was failing to do with muppets his entire life

spike lee
do the right thing
NAACP made me put another black person on here

stanley kubrick
a clockwork orange
my cousin starred in this movie

steven spielberg
jurassic park
sweet arcade game based on this movie

tao lin/megan boyle
bebe zeva
most-anticipated film of 2011[?]

werner herzog
fitzcarraldo
awful, but the french really like it

wes anderson
life aquatic with steve zissou
i’m on a boat, bro