black people seem chill.

heard somewhere today that bros 'name their junk'

decided to 'name my penis' 'piss beast' when docile

'sperm monster' when erect

seems good but unoriginal;

unsure about name selection

decided to not have children

if my gf wants kids i might have kids

just kidding bros

'sperm monster' impregnates all the bitches

guess who's losing the battle against incoherence

feel really drunk

on 40% alcohol vodka

scooby-doo seems like a 'great dane'

unsure which people from denmark aren't great

i am going to smash everything tomorrow

every protozoa, lichen and alga that i see will be smashed with a fist that is awesome and connected to my palm by ligaments

and when i see them i will declare that they will be destroyed and change my mind and make myself their leader

and i will have a monopoly on selling environmentally sustainable household objects and accessories when the next wave of 'intelligent life' happens in a few billion years

if i were a cat i would pounce the universe

where are you bros?

where da bros at everybody?

just saw the t.v. spot for 'new moon'

'seems wild'

sincere apologies via the united states government douchebros

you have immunity now, not really