when i combine groups of words into sentences i mostly feel like no one understands what i am trying to convey.

i was reading some of my old work today on my other blog romantic rhetoric and realized that for the past six months most of the things that i attempted to say to people never really filtered through my brain or turned into 'communication'. i mostly said a lot of things that referred to thoughts that were both personal and something like 'inside jokes to myself' as opposed to 'well-communicated rhetoric that could be cross-referenced with other material or at least misinterpreted as something intellectual and maybe funny'. this makes me feel like i am a mediocre writer and like there is no 'redemption' or 'satisfaction' in me now trying to communicate things to you, an unseen audience, as if i 'understand your frame of reference', especially since i don't/can't/don't care what you think because i believe that i have 'superior' 'taste' or something.