the vast majority of the emotions i feel are too intense for 'normals' to deal with.

i am currently feeling disparagement
because people don't feel the desire to accommodate my needs
because i have to provide for myself
because love is not all that you need
because money and restraint and blackmail are important
in a working relationship
and this makes me feel confused
because of what i was taught as a child
because of what i saw on 'sesame street'
because of what a snuffleupagus sang nasally and endearingly and a little bit creepily to me
through a television screen
because of what john lennon and his compatriot rock music icons told me
through a set of headphones
one of them, mick jagger, i think, said 'you can't always get what you want...
...but if you try sometimes, you get what you need'
i don't know where the comma belongs in that lyric
because when i hear the song, i think that i put it in the right place
but when i look at life, i feel like he might have wanted to change it to:
'but if you try...
...sometimes you get what you need'

once i wanted to have a good time at a party
so i drank a reasonable amount of alcohol
and smoked a reasonable amount of marijuana
and took a reasonable amount of illegally-acquired prescription medication
and this caused me to be 'somewhat tolerable' for 3-7 hours