ideas of exclusivity and world take-over in a monogamous vacuum

want to start a secret society for the two of us

i want to explain, in depth, purpose, method, goals

to usurp all governments, with you

complete domination seems ideal and impossible

ideas of dominance destroy feelings of life affirmation

cleaning, building, eating; processes

let's move, swiftly, past our close group of friends

overtake them on their career paths

take success by the earlobes and drag it

holding hands, squeezing our ideas together

this is life; this is horrible; there is some vast glory here

something untapped

a neutral love poem

flowers

passion

conversation

dreams

expectations

doubts

texture

fear

fantasies

arguments

fluid

anxiety

silence

fast

slow

void

warmth

tomorrow

felt sudden anxiety and mild stomach pain when my brain transmitted information that i had 'bypassed' reviewing previous posts on this blog and had opened an empty, ostensibly 'new' post with looming expectancy that i would somehow 'fill' this blank area with something

blogging is dead, i've come to understand mimetically, though not definitively, abstractly, really

i am still alive

i still enjoy cigarettes

i still enjoy 'unhealthy' [though paradoxically, it seems, life-continuing] food

i still care more about fashion than my family

i still don't [apparently] have any life-threatening diseases

i still have a distinct phobia of outdoor places and trees

i still do not know any women who seem 'worth' leaving this place [what some would consider the 'nest'] for

i still have a million projects that would be easy enough to delegate if i had ~$1,000,000, no desire to produce feature length 'hollywood quality' movies, and no student loans

i have no new desires

i keep looking at my phone and wondering when it will ring next though it's 4:33a.m.

i would do things on twitter if this didn't feel like it might become literary at some point

fuuuuck

that felt good to do